I’m having an identity crisis. I can’t decide which villain fits my personality. I’m pretty nasty, so I’ve been told by my ex-boyfriends. I’ve been called bitch, bloodsucker and heartbreaker. I was the mummy, Vampira and even a werewolf. I howled at the moon. I changed. I became the animal. I wobbled around on high heels acting like a moron. The monster you invented....
Today I feel like an animal. All hairy palms, full moons and legs so stubbly I break my Venus. I don’t even bother anymore. Why brush my hair? My mom is always asking me if I did, when I did, so why even try. I always look like a mess. They nicknamed me the animal. So I embrace it. I wear cheetah, leopard and snakeskin. Faux, thankyouverymuch. I don’t eat meat anymore. But sometimes I...
Jack’s smile was crooked, his brow dipped low on his forehead and his nose dripped blood. He was angry, but he felt hollow inside. No guts! That’s what his mom always said as her vines entangled him into a big hug. He didn’t mind. He didn’t know it was an insult at the time. He just wanted a new home. He crossed his stem and five days later he found himself on a porch. ...
People always ask where we met. What was the attraction? I guess I don’t get it. Sometimes there aren’t simple answers to simple questions. Sometimes there aren’t answers at all. I just really wanted to date a wizard, okay!
Never Admit Defeat
Dear Lola, I know that you don’t know that I’m watching you. Don’t be embarrassed, you’re beautiful! I think about you during the day at my desk job. I watch you make supper for one while you watch Jeopardy. I love your happy dance when you get an answer right. I never finished high school, so I’m not as bright as you seem to be, but I’m okay with that. I hope...
Dot Dot Dot
Ben stood in the field alone, observing and cold. A bird had pooped in his hair, but there was nothing he could do about it. Stiff jointed and awkward, he wanted to return home, but he found himself frozen. It wasn’t the weather. It was the fact that he just realized he wasn’t alive, but he felt alive. Besides, did he even live in the white house? The red house? The barn? He...
I used to think vampires were sexy. Not real. Monsters. But sexy. Mysterious. Enchanting. Then 155 years later. Fangs aren’t sexy. They’re just pointy teeth. Thirsting for blood. What’s sexy about blood? Because there’s nothing sexy about the stain on my shirt and the dirt underneath my fingernails. The eternal mess. Always foraging, never forgiving. Day in, Day out....
I live in a cave. It’s not dark, damp or cramped. There’s a little stream that passes through and a bat blowhole. I’m quite knowledgeable in geodes and I totally revived the hardhat as fashion accessory. Even so, no one will visit, despite my extensive collection of Frank Sinatra records, several yachts and my very own kazoo orchestra. I just don’t get it. Maybe I should...
Tiny Little Super
“Hey, Eileen. Check it out! It’s Super Stud.” “What? Oh my god. You’re gross!” “Come give him a kiss! He’s a hero!” “No way! Yuck!” “What? No kiss?” “Come on, Rich. Take it off!” “I can’t. It’s stuck.” “It’s creeping me out.” “Well, how do you think I...
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” Todd was talking, but I wasn’t listening. “The answer is Jason Voorhees.” I was twirling my finger around my hair, around & around, until it pulled. “Are you listening to me?” I nodded. I wasn’t. He knew it. My other hand in my right pocket. The knife was still there. Todd had no idea. I was sure of...
And I Would Never Be the Same
I heard the noises in between the walls. The bubbles and cracks appeared over night. The next morning the water flowed from the sinks, wading in ankle deep water, watching my house sinking from the inside. But there was no rain. It was unusually sunny for this time of year. Sun and fluffy white clouds and record breaking temperatures. October first. I burned despite the ever rushing waves. I...